I'm Baaack!
It's good to be back online! I've got the dial up for now, but by the end of the month I should be in full swing with DSL.
Currently, my time is being occupied with a job search. Applying everywhere, even if I'm not qualified or over qualified. I just NEED a job NOW!It's hard to believe I haven't worked for over 3 years. I am so ready to get back into the 9 - 5 routine. It seems the time spent with my kids was much more meaningful.
The Jimmy is about to be dis-owned by me. I am so frustrated with it right now, I would love to take a bat to it! It was in the shop for a couple of days getting a tune up, and the fuel line checked, and it's still running crappy.

Happy Fourth Of July!!!!
I hope everyone is/has been enjoying their holiday this weekend. We went to the park to see the firework display they put on, and boy! was it awesome!! Maggie really had a good time. It sure was crowded there, but we were able to get out okay. That is until I thought I left the can of Cutter there where we were sitting. That stuff is expensive for me, and I wasn't about to just leave it there! I turned around and drove back to where we were, and didn't see it. Then I looked in the back of the Jimmy and it was there. Duhh. So, then we fought with the traffic, and finally got out. We actually live so close to the park, we could have just watched from home.

My daughter is coming to see us!!! I am so excited!! She only has a couple of days, so we have to make the best of the time. This visit is going to be short, sweet, and to the point! We can't wait to see her. It's been about 2 years!

Today, we are going to a BBQ. It should be fun. Of course we'll light off lots of fireworks. Blake was "The Man" and got to light off all of the ones we bought last night. He did a good job, and felt very important.

Brandon went to hang out with his old friends last night. I'm just waiting for him to call for a ride. I can't wait for him to get his license!

Well, thats all thats going on here, I'm going to read all of you alls blogs. (wow, I sound southern)

Brandon got a job in computer network engineering. He's an indepent contractor working for a company installing computer software among other things. At 17 3/4, he's making as much $$ as I did at my last job! ....And he's still in love with Katie.
I finally got to meet the parents. Actually, just the mom, and she was very nice.

The Jimmy has a fuel line problem now. I'm driving it until it breaks down and then when that happens, I guess I won't have a car anymore.

I had my last surgery on my finger recently, and I plan to get my nails done on the 14th. It actuall doesn't look all that bad.

Is it wrong to leave your kids in the car when you're just running in the post office or convienence store? And I'm talking kids, like under 10.
I walked out of the post office the other day, and saw my dream car (a Honda Pilot) parked right up at the entry instead of a couple of steps away in the parking lot. Then I heard it was running, and to top it all off - there were little babies in the car! As I went back in to measure the individuals in the post office to figure out which one would be so lazy as to leave their kids in the car alone, a girl came out and asked if she [her car] was in my way. I said, "Is this your car?" She said, "Yes" and I said, "It's wrong to leave your kids in the car! Are you THAT lazy to not want to carry them in with you and risk someone kidnapping them? Or stealing the whole car?" She went on to tell me that she is a stay at home mom who takes good care of her kids, and her husband makes a lot of money- yada yada yada. I interrupted her by saying, "All I'm saying is it is WRONG to leave your kids in the car- they're irreplaceable!" She seemed to think that since she had a lot of money (she even made it a point to show me her wedding ring), it was okay for her to leave her kids alone. Whatever. Then she drove around to where I was parked and saw what I was driving, then said, "Oh, yes. You're poor, looser bitch" I guess she had to have the last word.
When I got home, I called the police station to ask if It was against the law to leave your kids alone in the car and the officer I spoke with said that it depends on the individual circumstance.

It reminds me of when Cristy Robel lost her son due to a carjacking in Kansas City. It's sad, really sad.

I'm going back to my abuser
Mood:  sad
Unless you've been in my shoes, don't give me any advice. I know I'll probably lose some good friends over this but I feel I can't do it alone.
From now on I'll be discussing this with my counselor only.

I think I need to stop and start all over with myself. I feel like such a dingbat because I don't get ANYTHING. This Tripod thing is supposed to be the most simplest thing in the world to manage, yet I can't even do it! I have been trying to load the flickr photo box thingy on my sidebar, but I can't figure it out!

I won't be posting for a while after today because we'll be moving and getting settled.
I am so worried that Brandon will give me grief about leaving his girlfriend. But I'm hoping it'll be like your situation Leigh, where he'll forget about her after a couple of weeks!

The boys are finished with school until next year!! Whoo Hoo! Blake brought his grades home, and did well. Brandon's grades will be sent through the mail. He said the finals went well and he feels confident that he passed, so we'll see. Just one year left, Brandon - One year!

I've got all the stuff out in the garage ready to go. We had a thunderstorm the other day and rain leaked into the garage and I noticed that Maggie's dresser got all wet. Now it's all warped and I don't know if I can repair it. I just hope it doesn't mildew. I've been leaving the garage open to let it all dry out, but I think I should let the a/c blow in there.

It's gonna be a looooong drive!

I woke up this morning, woke up Brandon for the last day of school (whoo hoo!), then went into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot and realized that I'm out of half and half! 'Thats okay', I thought. I'll just have some milk. Nope. No milk, either. Now, for those of you who don't drink coffee, you're probably saying, "So, what?" But for us coffee lovers we HAVE to have our fixins, right? I woke up faster than any amount of caffeine could wake me! I thought OMG! I have to get to Speedway to get me some cream. I grabbed the clothes I was wearing last night, threw them on, and rushed out the door, bringing a car cup of black coffee with me.
I got to the convenience store, purchased a gallon of milk, and got back in the Jimmy. It was only then that I realized what I looked like. I was a genuine certified Hootchie Momma! My mascara was smeared all over my face, my hair a state of disorder, and I wasn't wearing a bra!
It wouldn't have been so bad - not wearing a bra- if I wasn't wearing the particular top I was wearing. It was a black lacy see thru top. Yesterday, I was wearing a black bra under it, but this morning, I was in all my glory! No wonder the old man at Speedway was staring at me!

My plans have changed as far as help with moving. Doug is coming here and we will be moving only the necessities and putting the rest of my things in storage. I don't really plan to stay in AR long. I really want to move back to Blue Springs. The landlord is unable to refund my money I gave her for the apt- which is understandable, so I plan to move there, clear my head, work, work, work and save all I can so that I'll have money to move/live in Blue Springs. We'll probably be in AR for the school year only. I feel a bit unstable (duh) and guilty for putting my kids in this situation where we'll only be there temporarily, but I think this is the best plan. The rent is cheap, I can work and make a lot (ha) and save a lot. I really want to be near my family and friends in Blue Springs.
Blake took my old cell phone to school- without my knowledge, and now I have to go to school today and talk to the teacher.I know and Blake knows not to bring valuables to school, yada, yada, yada. Whatever, I don't have time to sit and listen to the teacher lecture us. Believe me, I let Blake know how important it is that we don't touch other people's belongings without permission, and I made him write sentences instead of grounding him. Since these last few days are the only time he'll see his friends again, I couldn't ground him.
There is this nasty dust that blows out of the vent from the kitchen floor, and even though I sweep a million times a day, there's still a trace of it remaining on the floor. Last night, Maggie slipped and fell because of it and she hit her head pretty hard on the cabinet. She was crying so hard, she couldn't catch her breath. I wanted to cry with her because I remember how frightening it was to get hurt. Then all of a sudden, she stopped and took the ice pack off and said, "I think I'm going to live!"
I can't get over her! She is such a hoot. We looked at material (for her Fiona dress) yesterday but I don't think I'll start that project until we move and get settled. I did buy her some pantaloons for when she wears dresses. She doesn't like for anyone to see her panties so she can wear these pantaloons under her dress and it will solve everything, huh?

My plans have changed

Believe it or not, I posted some pics! You can view them at flickr or up there on the left in 'Our Life In Pictures' Thank you, Lisa for sending them.
She should be sending more and as she does, I will post them.
If you want an invite to flickr, just let me know-

We're back!!!!!!!!
Mood:  happy
Whew! I'm not as young as I was, but we sure had fun and we did a lot of walking! I was tired by the end of the day.
Blake was quite scared to ride the roller coasters but we went to cartoon town and rode the kiddie coaster. We also went on the log ride. Maggie really liked it! Overall, it was great.
The next time I go, I'm bringing lots of money, and a couple of changes of clothes! It was pretty hot and It would have been nice to change into clean clothes. I did however, wear tennis shoes. It's only obvious to wear comfortable tennis/walking shoes, isn't it? There were a lot of people in platforms, and flat thong-style sandals and I couldn't fathom how they were comfortable. Then again, I go back to my teenage years and remember that I wore what was popular, not comfortable.
The best value soda was a souvenir cup with refills for .99 We got that one for all to share for $7.99 and refilled it a couple of times.
I didn't mention that Brandon didn't go with because he would miss his girlfriend! I could have invited her, but I didn't know when we would be back, and I kind of wanted it to be a family thing. So, he stayed home alone and we ended up being gone the whole weekend. I left him money for food but he spent it on hair color and got it all over the carpet! I was so upset when I saw that because it doesn't come out! The carpet is a beige Berber and I'm sure the landlord will be happy to spend money to replace it when we move - NOT!
The landlord had to come to look at the ac yesterday. There wasn't any cold air coming out of the vents after I turned it on, and the compressor outside wasn't going on. I thought it needed recharging, but after a couple of hours of investigating, the landlord realized that a wire was just loose!
I'm so glad that I don't own my home right now! If this were my home, I wouldn't have been able to have anyone come out and take a look at the ac because I wouldn't have had money! ( I know, If I hadn't have gone to Six Flags, I would have money).
Brandon doesn't want to move and leave Katie. e says they're in love and want to live together. I had a dream last night that they had a baby and forgot about it and left it at the bus station. It shows that I think they're too young and irresponsible, right?
I told him yesterday that he isn't 18 until January 17. Until then, he has to live with me and go to school. Period.
Well, that's it for me.

I know I shouldn't be doing this, but we need it.
A mini vacation
We're going to Six Flags tomorrow. It's not too far from here, so we won't have to stay in a hotel or anything and I've got two free passes, so I won't really be spending much money.
You can bet your sweet bippy's that I'm going to be crying when the 1st of the month comes around and I don't have the rent money! I don't think the landlord will be forgiving.

The operating system Brandon installed on this piece of %&^#$...on this computer is called Linux, and it sucks!
I went to Walgreen's with my memory card from the camera, and had the pics put onto a CD. Then I came home to load the CD but I couldn't figure out what to click on to open the CD ROM drive! Brandon says that it won't work, so what the *#@@ is the point of having this piece of $^&*shit for an operating system when you can't even utilize anything? I can't load them at the library.

Needless to say, I am a bit pissed.

I have pictures of my mom and sisters # 2 and 4, my nephews and niece, her baby, and the hot men my sisters are happily married to. Also, sister #4's kiddo-s. My mom and sis said they would email the pics they shot, but they haven't as of yet.

I might just go ask Holly if I can use her computer to load them. I'm not really the type of person to go borrow other people's things, you know?
They (Holly and Don) offered to let me borrow their lawn mower in the past, but I declined and paid a kid to do it. I worry that something might happen if I borrow things from friends. Suppose I mow over a huge rock and break their mower! Then, I'll have to pay for it and I don't have money to do that!

I'm going to make Nachos Compuesto for din din tonight. Its a dish I converted from a Mexican restaurant in CA when I was 17. I guess the modern version would be similar to a seven layer dip. I layer 1/2 lb ground beef with 1/2 lb chorizo and seasonings in a 9 X 12 dish. Then layer whole black beans or beans cooked with bacon. Next, shredded lettuce, shredded cheese, seasoned sour cream, and my own homemade salsa and serve with chips and cheese sauce. This time, I'm going to use pepper jack cheese in my sauce to make it a little more spicy. And while I'm at it, I think I'll put a jalapeno in my salsa.

Brandon probably won't even touch it. I don't think he's eaten since we came back from my sisters! He is in love for one thing, and when you're 17 and in love, you don't have an appetite for a while. He also thinks he's too fat! I'm going to have to post a picture of him (ha ha) to show how he looks.
I bought ice cream today to tempt him to eat. It's my fav - Moose Tracks. Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow morning, it'll be gone. He's like that. He won't really want to eat in front of me or others, but when he's alone he will. Is that a sign of a food disorder? I think so. When we get settled in AR, I'm going to take us all to get a much needed physical.

"Who is Doug?", you ask?
Doug is a friend of mine in Blue Springs. He has 2 kids - Keith and Courtney. They lived just down the street from us when we lived in Blue Springs (KC,MO). At that time, he was happily married, then, 2 or 3 years ago, his wife up and said, "I'm outta here", and left him with the kids! Those kids mean the world to him and he dealt with the divorce well (as well as anyone can) and moved on. I admire him because he puts his kids first. He stayed in Blue Springs so that he could keep them in the same school, with the same friends, and they've adjusted well. He has family in Springfield, MO and could have moved there for the support, but he felt it was more important to stay as stable as he could.
Keith and Brandon are the same age. Keith is thinking about college now, and what he's going to do with his life. Courtney is 16, I think.
He came to see us when we lived in AR last time. My kids sure like him because he gives them lots of attention.
Who knows, after his kids have moved out, and if I move back to Blue Springs, maybe we'll get together. I would like that!

Ok, I lied. No pictures up yet. I can't figure this out; Brandon installed some crappy operating system and uninstalled windows. I have tons of pictures, but I can't upload them. He tried this morning, yet couldn't master it either. I need my own computer.
I don't have time to mess with this system to try to figure it out. I don't know why he tweaked his pc the way he did, but it's his computer and he can have whatever system he wants.
I'm not going to let it bother me today. I've got other things to worry about!

8 more days until we move!
15 more days until Blake's 10th birthday!
29 more days until the rent is due again, and I only have half of it!
??? more days until the Jimmy breaks down and I won't have money to fix it.

About My Weekend
Mood:  happy
We had a great weekend! We stayed at my sister's house until Monday afternoon, then had to head for home. Pictures will be in the "Our Life In Pictures" up there on the left.
I stopped by to see Doug before leaving Blue Springs. He looks great and was happy to see us, as were we to see him. He asked why we didn't think to move back to Blue Springs instead of Arkansas. I didn't really have an answer for him. Actually, I didn't even think about it. Now that he wishes we would come back, and my little sister and her family are looking at property in Blue Springs, I might just stay in AR for the summer and move before school starts in the fall.
If my sister moves here from CA, then no doubt my mom will too because she is so emotionally attached to her grand babies and couldn't stand the thought of not being able to see them regularly as she does now.
It was really comforting to see Doug. I've known him for about 8 years now, and he's helped me through a lot of crap I went through with Dan. I could kick myself for not taking his advice last year. Instead, I did the opposite and went back to Dan with hopes that the relationship would improve, but that was when he beat the shit out of me and went to jail the first time. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't tell Doug I was going to drop the charges because he said he was truly sorry and it wouldn't ever happen again. So, I just stopped calling him. He couldn't get hold of me because I changed my cell # when we moved here.
I didn't know if he would even answer his door when I knocked on it yesterday. But he did, and we were both glad! Too bad I didn't take a picture of us so that I could look at it and imagine what my life would be like right now!

Now Playing: You're so vain - Carly Simon
I don't mean to be vain! My blog is the only place where I can talk about myself. I really enjoy it, too; it's therapeutic for me. I know that sounds silly.

I really need to use spell check from now on! I can't spell for the life of me! I was just reading some of my previous posts, and saw a lot of mistakes. Shame on me!

I will be renting a car for the weekend. It'll be much less stressful because I won't be worried about putting all those miles on the Jimmy, and I'm sure the a/c will be in great working order. I'm not even going to pursue repairing the a/c on the Jimmy as it wouldn't be worth it if I plan to get another car by next summer.

Maggie has been washing her toy dishes in the sink today. She loves to do that! I just need to find a way to get her to do all of the dirty dishes! He he. Today, she wore her St Louis Rams cheer leading dress and I said to her, "Maggie, let's see you do a cheer" She said, "I tan't! I don't have anyting to drink" She thought I meant a "cheer" as in a "toast". Later, when we were in the car, and she was cranky (to put it nicely), I asked her if she wanted a piece of watermelon candy. She brightened up and held out her hand saying, "Yes, please!" When I handed her the Jolly Rancher candy, all hell broke loose. She was expecting a real piece of watermelon! How confusing is that!

I cannot wait to see my mom and sister (s)- have I already mentioned that?! I am definitely bringing the camera and I won't let it out of my site! I will post when I get back home on Tuesday.

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY, EVERYONE!

Kansas City, Here we come

We're going to KC this weekend for my nephew's graduation. My sister(#4), her family, and mom is visiting Lisa (#2) from CA, and I can't wait to see them! I've never seen Cyllyns (#4) boys. Maggie and her oldest are about the same age.

Confused yet?

I'm thinking of renting a car because I'm putting lots of miles on this Jimmy and I need it to last at least until spring time next year. The air isn't working all that great either. I think we have some free days rental at Enterprise.

I need to make a dress for Maggie that looks similar to Princess Fiona's (Shrek) green dress. She loves to be called Princess Fiona! I'm sure I can find some material at Wal Mart and put it together for next to nothing.

I sure wish I had my own computer. I'm in Brandon's room right now, and Maggie is here with me. She is getting into everything! If things aren't put back exactly how they were, Brandon is going to notice! Hmmm, that might be a good thing; maybe he'll decide to have the pc back in the family room!

A is for Age - 39
B is for Booze - Grey Goose vodka. I also like the sweet drinks such as a Melon Ball, Tequila Sunrise, etc
C is for Career - Ready to get started one one! Right now, I'm a Domestic Engineer
D is for Dad’s name - Bob
E is for Essential items to bring to a party - I can't remember the last time I went to a party!
F is for Favorite song at the moment - I like them all.
G is for Goof off thing to do - De-Clutter something, or re-organize something. (yes, I'm crazy)
H is for Hometown - Born in Oakland, CA
I is for Instrument you play - Years ago, I played the clarinet
J is for Jam or Jelly you like - Apricot or peach. Thanks, now I want a peanut butter and jelly sammich.
K is for Kids - Five! Ben (21), Beth (20), Brandon (17 and thinks he's an adult), Blake (almost 10), and Maggie (3)
L is for Living arrangement - 1970's ranch-style house, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. I love it! Currently, living single with Brandon, Blake and Maggie
M is for Mom’s name - Earnestine
N is for Names of best friends - Cindy, Sharon, Holly
O is for overnight hospital stays - Several! One for each childbirth, contracted viral meningitis 3 x, strep infection, then my finger thing.
P is for Phobias - Getting my or the kids fingers smashed in the door!
Q is for Quote you like - Dance as if nobody's watching, Love as if you've never been hurt, and drive as if there's a cop behind you.
R is for Relationship that lasted longest - My marriage to Mike
S is for Siblings - Two older sisters: Mechelle and Lisa, two younger sisters: Cyllyn and Robin
T is for Texas , Ever been? - Yessim. I reckon we lived there in the '80's. Mike was in the Air Force and we lived in Abilene
U is for Unique trait - I can get almost any stain out of clothing!
V if for Vegetable you love - All! Especially broccoli.
W is for Worst trait - I'd say that I put others feelings before my own.
X - is for XRays you’ve had - teeth, head (MRI), hand
Y is for Yummy food you make - I LOVE to cook!! The last yummy thing I made was peanut butter cookies
Z is for Zodiac sign - Scorpio, I think. I'm not really into that.

Blake is really enjoying all the attention I'm giving him about his 'bicycle accident'. You know when you tell a story over and over, and keep exaggerating more each time? Now the tale goes: Blake was in a life threatening accident and he sustained a huge gunshot-looking hole in his hand, AND lived to tell about it!

Brandon passed night school! Whoo Hoo! I knew he would, and so did he. He was taking one of his favorite subjects: History. He thinks his teacher, Mr. Ebler is wonderful and so do I. As a matter of fact, it's my opinion that all of his teachers are wonderful.
Next week is finals for him and Beth too.

No luck with my title. I can't believe that I would misplace something so important like that. I'll need to send off for a replacement like I should have done a long time ago.
I did manage to get the Jimmy all cleaned inside and out, though. It looks great. I had to buy a new console-thingy: you know, the cup holder and compartment thing that goes in between the two front seats? The old one was broken; the compartment broke and couldn't close. This new one has a lock! I like it, and it was easy to install.

I hope I can bring this Dish Satellite with me when we move. I love it, and I don't think I can live without it! I seriously love to watch TV, but never can totally commit myself to sitting down and watching a whole program; someone usually needs me, or the phone will ring - you name it! So, instead i'll DVR it to view later, like when the kids go to sleep.

Made cookies. Peanut Butter cookies, and Oatmeal Scotchies. I froze most of them in the deep freezer and locked the garage! One way to make them last, huh?! Last night for dinner, I made a vegetable lasagna and ate tons of it! I made a vanilla custard for dessert but I used too much cornstarch because it was pretty thick. I never measure when I cook, unless I'm baking. I usually just 'eyeball' it.
Tonight, we'll probably just have the leftover lasagna for dinner. We'll be pressed for time because we're going to the shelter for a support group meeting, and then swimming at the Y.

Brandon put his computer back in his room because he loathes the distraction. We talked about it and I have to respect his feelings.